Or
we can lead with this statement:
"I need for you to look
me in the eyes because I teach each and everyone of you. I am your
individual teacher. I teach you as a group but also as a unique
and special individual."
"I realize that in some cultures, respect for the teacher is
shown by not giving eye contact. But in this classroom, giving eye
contact is respectful to me."
2. Listen with eye contact
I was in a busy restaurant with a hand-some, single attorney, Jerry.
A female, single friend, Sarah, stopped by our table to chat. We
both stood briefly and talked with her. After Sarah left, I told
Jerry that she was interested in dating some new men. Did he have
any friends who were available? He explained that although he found
her quite attractive, he wouldn't be introducing her to any of his
colleagues.
Curious, I asked why. At first,
he was reluctant but then he explained, "The entire time she
spoke with me her eyes flickered. She has wandering eyes. She was
looking for something better."
This wonderful man wouldn't be introducing
my friend to eligible bachelors because he felt insulted by her
flickering eyes. Subconsciously she sabotaged a relationship that
may have been helpful.
When we fail to make eye contact
with our students, when we talk with them and allow our eyes to
wander, we're saying, "You aren't important to me."
Nothing is better for a student's
ego than the teacher's undivided attention. It's difficult to give
full eye contact when you have a room full of kids also requiring
attention, yet we can sabotage our efforts with students by denying
them a few moments from our eyes. Active listening requires eye
contact.
3. Scan
Scan when you work with one group of kids or an individual.
About every two to three minutes, look up to check on the group.
Scanning keeps you informed of what's happening.
4. Clint Eastwood Stare
After scanning, comes "the stare." We've all used "the
stare" to get kids back on track. It is effective.
5. Get close
Think for a moment about the way we discipline a three-year-old.
We take the child onto our lap, put our arms about him or her and
speak softly. We look the child in the eyes. We let the child see
the pain or anger on our face. The child is being comforted and
scolded at the same time. We tell the child how to behave in the
future. Whether they are first graders or seniors, we can create
similar corrective measures with our students.
Distance is a barrier. Distance will defeat even
the best discipline strategy. Kids pretend not to hear you. It's
essential to be physically close.
If you are pulling a student aside for a brief conference,
both of you should sit. We have the most resistance while standing.
That's why taking kids out into the hallway doesn't work. You're
both standing. Better to pull up a chair and sit. Give eye contact.
6. Use a strong voice
Our voice tone conveys confidence. Leave the wimp, weak voice at
home. We need a voice that conveys through our tone, "I know
you'll cooperate with me," and "I know you'll do what's
right."
Project your voice. Be sure back row Bart can hear.
Voice projection and volume mean power. The teacher who can't be
heard is weak and ineffective.
7. Use the 47-second prompt
Bill Bailey is a fourth grader in your class. You
have given the assignment and are walking around the room, answering
questions. Bill is too busy to work. His book isn't open, his paper
is on the floor and he's turned around in his seat jabbing his fist
into the boy behind him. When your Clint Eastwood stare goes unnoticed,
you need to do the 47-second prompt.
1. Get physically close. Stand next to him. Bend
down and look directly into his eyes.
2. Place your hand in the center of his back. (With tactile defensive
kids, place your hand on desk / work table.)
3. Whisper in a calm, soft voice in his ear, "Bill do your
work." Use his name. Give a direct, positive command. This
prompts him to get back on task. Your physical closeness will guarantee
he'll begin to work.
4. Say nothing. This is the most difficult part. Remain close until
you see him making an effort. This should take less than 30 seconds.
5. Then say, "Thank you, Bill."
The simple method works because you've responded
to misbehavior with calm, not anger. You've reinforced and rewarded
good behavior. The closeness insures the student will get back on
task. A "craving for attention" child receives physical
comfort. You've established a positive, caring feeling between you
and your student.
Students Respond
Students respond with, "You are welcome,"
Mrs. Fuery. Warning: if you have eight kids not doing their work,
tearing around the room or punching each other, this method will
fail. (Try another technique.) This works if you have one or two
students off task.
8. Sweet and sour strategy
A student will more likely hear you if you approach
him/her first with a positive statement. The Sweet and Sour Strategy
gets kids to listen. Here's an example:
I observed Jennifer, a fifth grader, enter the room and punch another
student, Randy, on the shoulder. She's now seated. I move close
to her and say:
"Jennifer, I really like that yellow blouse you're wearing
today. That color looks good with your dark hair. However, I didn't
like what I saw just a few moments ago. You punched Larry on the
way into class. I know for the rest of this hour, you'll do the
right thing and keep your hands to yourself." Follow this with
a handshake or a pat on the shoulder. Walk away. Turn your attention
to someone else.
If you continue to stand near Jennifer, she may justify
her behavior. You've said what's needed. Don't belabor your point
or you'll lose the power of the Sweet and Sour approach.
9. The Simple Scolding
The Simple Scolding can be done after a class or
after a misbehavior has occurred. Basically, you're letting the
youngster know how you feel.
When I meet with a student at the end of class it
gives me an edge. I have calmed my emotions. I plan what I'll say.
Privacy is important. The rest of the class doesn't need to hear
my words.
When the entire class can watch like spectators,
it's best not to confront an angry student. Why? Because the student
becomes the performer and you're the show.
The Gatsby Incident
We were watching the movie, The Great Gatsby. One
scene involved a man slugging a woman in the mouth. Right after
this scene, several students laughed. I turned off the projector
and confronted their behavior.
I asked if they felt laughter was an appropriate
response. We discussed the scene briefly, then the projector went
back on.
One student, Bryan, who often disrupted the class
with his outbursts, sat in the back of the room. He continued to
laugh almost out of control. Since there was another teacher in
the classroom, I could pull Bryan aside. Quietly, I asked him to
follow me.
The Simple Scolding In Action
We went next door to an empty classroom. Leaving
the door open, I pulled up two chairs and motioned him to be seated.
I looked into his eyes with a sad expression. I said:
"Bryan, I can't predict your emotional reaction
to any scene. I feel bad when you laugh after the class is settled
down. It disturbs me to see you laugh at another person's pain.
Even though this is a movie, it disturbs me. That's how I feel.
You're an intelligent and sensitive young man. I know in the future,
I can count on you to do what's right. Thank you for talking with
me."
The Simple Scolding uses "I" messages.
It's a positive approach that brings results. The teacher is calm
and rational and says with his/her behavior, "I'm in charge.
I'm in control of my feelings."
Limit your criticism to only one misbehavior. Keep
the scolding short. Always give the student a sincere compliment
and always thank the student.
If Bryan had said, "But Mrs. Fuery....it was
George's fault." My response would be, "Bryan, this is
not a conversation we're having. Please listen." You don't
want an explanation for inappropriate behavior. You're not blaming
him, so he has no reason to justify his actions. The Simple Scolding
works because students leave with their dignity and self-respect
intact.
-Chill Out Areas
1. The rocking chair
Because of my strong Southern heritage, I believe in the benefits
of rocking chairs. Rocking chairs were in my grandmother's kitchen
in Dublin, Georgia. And the moments I spent in an old wooden rocker
sipping iced tea on the wrap-around porch are precious to me.
It's hard to chill out in Georgia in July, but that
is exactly what I did sitting in those rocking chairs. Kids today
need rockers, too. I have a white pine rocking chair in my classroom.
It cost me 20 bucks at a garage sale, and it has been a discipline
bargain. Because my classroom has no windows, the chair is located
in a back corner next to a sunset beach poster. It's amazing how
well it works to cool aggression.
My high school students arrive early to rock before
the bell rings. If the chair is occupied, they sit on the floor.
A rocker relieves tension and stress, gives comfort and movement
and is drug-free. What more could we ask?
Rocking Chair Uses
When I ask a student to stay after the bell for a
few minutes (for the Simple Scolding) I always direct him/her to
the rocker. I gauge the student's emotional state by how fast the
rocker moves.
Active Kids
If I had to sit for six hours or stay the entire
day in one room, I'd probably lose my mind. Why? I'm extremely active.
It's a great advantage while teaching and giving seminars, but a
real detriment when trying to write at a computer or sit still for
longer that 45 minutes.
When I'm asked to give an all-day seminar, one of
the most common responses I hear from teachers is, "I loved
what I was learning, but I hated having to sit all day long."
Sitting all day is tough on teachers as well as on students. That's
why we have frequent stretch and bathroom breaks. When I teach all-day
seminars, the afternoon session involves group work and lots of
movement. Both adults and kids need the chance for physical movement.
Physical movement needs to be part of the lesson plan.
2. Thinking chairs
To allow for physical activity, keep two or three
"thinking" chairs on the sides or back of the room. Thinking
chairs are not punishment chairs. They help students monitor their
own behavior. Students ask for permission to go to a thinking chair.
Or, in my classroom, a student may sit in a thinking chair, if he/she
feels staying at their desk or table will get him/her in trouble.
I was recently discussing the use of thinking chairs
with a seventh grade teacher. She said, "Those chairs won't
work in my classroom. My students are way too immature to know when
to move away from trouble." We need to teach when to move away
from trouble as an essential skill.
3. Personal office
One elementary teacher had an extremely active, emotionally
handicapped girl named Linda. She was mainstreamed into her second
grade class. The teacher created an "office" for this
out-of-control student.
The teacher unscrewed the legs on a study carrel.
Linda sits on the floor and slides her legs under the bottom of
the desk. It's the one time all day she's not moving. The study
carrel acts as a constraint. She is better behaved and more on task
in her "little office" than anywhere else in the room.
Study carrels work with all levels of students. They
are cozy and secure. One year I had a tough group of high school
seniors. The class contained all boys who had failed English two
or three times. Eighteen of these young people were jammed into
a small classroom.
The only thing that saved my sanity was the row of
six study carrels, where I isolated a few of them each day. As long
as the instigators were on task in their little space, the rest
of the group functioned fine.
4. Area Rugs/Rug Squares
Washable rugs and rug squares can create a clean
floor space for stretching, moving, reading or working on the floor
in groups and reading. Just as arranging space helps ease tension
and create harmony in a classroom, so does providing outlets for
aggressive behavior. We need to deflate the aggression and stop
being the student's target.
Outlets for Aggression
1. Soft objects
Punching bags, soccer boppers, soft bats, pillows.
2. Swearing box
Especially popular with the elementary set, the Swearing Box is
a small box made of construction paper. Ask an art teacher to show
you how to make one. An angry student writes lots of swear words
on pieces of paper and puts them into the box. Words are written
on the outside of the box. Collect and use shoe boxes for this purpose.
Up-Beat
Talks: The Start Up
"It's good to see that you've read the assignment on the board.
I'm glad you have your books open and your paper out. Your desk
looks prepared, Dee, Shelly and Dick, thank you. You're ready to
start class."
Leave
Your Troubles-
"I hope you left your troubles in that imaginary book bag outside
the classroom door. You don't need them. This is a place where you're
safe. You can be happy here. You can pick up that book bag again
when you leave, if you still want to carry it with you."
The
Bell Quiz
There's no better way to get a group of kids focused, than to begin
each class with a brief, five question quiz. The questions cover
the home-work or the work from the day before. As the bell rings,
the teacher says, "Thank you for being ready to begin today's
quiz. Number one ..."
The
Five-Minute Miracle
The bell quiz is a short miracle. Ask questions out loud. Short
answers make grading swift. Students trade papers and grade the
test in class. Papers are then collected or handed over to a specific
student to be put in alphabetical order.
Save paper by putting each week's
quizzes on one sheet of notebook paper. Spread out papers you are
returning on a desk near the door. As students enter the classroom,
they pick up their quiz sheet.
Improve Discipline
When they don't have enough to do, kids get into
trouble. The quiz gives kids worthwhile work, reviews the previous
lesson and gets students quiet immediately. It starts the class
with a jolt.
If kids are late, they miss the quiz. There is no
make-up. If they enter late with a legitimate pass, or if they have
an excused absence, put O.K. next to their name in grade book. If
they have an unexcused absence they get a zero. Three zeroes equal
one afternoon detention with the teacher.
Table of Contents
1. Meet Bored, Ballistic Billy - Why sending kids to the office backfires
2. Create Marketable Classrooms
3. Become the Authentic Teacher
4. Project the Prizefighter Image - Tips and strategies to teach by
5. Birth Order: You, Me and the Kids
6. Winning Strategies for Avoidance, Power, Apathy and Attention
7. Discipline Remedies for Reluctant Learners
8. Boundary Setting for Ballistic Students
9. Target Your Anger and Help Kids Manage Theirs
10. Soothe Ballistic Behavior -- 15 Remedies
11. Manage the Mainstreamed: ADD/ADHD
12. Baby Bombers and Your Security
13. Lighting Candles in the Dark
14. Painless Parent/Teacher Conferences
15. Salvage Your Self-Esteem
16. The Courageous Teacher
Index
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